Harmony in muslim couples

Continuation from yesterday topic...harmony with Muslim couple.
2. They are grateful for each other
If there is one fundamental need that exists in
every single human relationship, it is the need to
feel relevant and appreciated. And there is no
other relationship where this need is as grossly
overlooked and abused, as in marriage. Why does
this happen? Is it because humans tend to take
things for granted, especially when they’re done
by those closest to them?
When you’re newly married, every single thing
your spouse does for you feels so special. As
time goes by, your husband going out to work
hard and earn for the family becomes normal;
and a few years later it becomes “his duty
anyway”. Similarly, every meal your new bride
cooks is delightful, then somehow the salt always
seems to keep getting lesser, till eventually she’s
“not doing anyone a favor by just doing her job”.
Sounds familiar? Oh yes, ungrateful Muslim
spouse speaking right there!
Happy Muslim couples live and breathe this
hadith in their marriage:
“He who does not thank the people is not
thankful to Allah.” [ Abu Dawud ]
What is not there to thank your spouse for? Here are
5 reasons to thank your spouse right now :
1. For providing you a roof to live under/for
making a home out of your house
2. For buying you clothes to wear/for making
sure you have clean clothes to wear everyday
3. For buying you the food you eat everyday/for
making delicious meals for you everyday
4. For being there to take you where you need to
go/for being there to take care of the house when
you’re away
5. For coming back home to you every evening/
for being the person you can come home to
everyday
Allah says in the Qur’an:
“… If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in
favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is
severe.” [ Qur’an: Chapter 14, Verse 7]
Our spouses are an immense favor and blessing
of Allah upon us: they are an irreplaceable source
of spiritual, emotional, mental and physical
comfort. Happy Muslim couples keep getting
happier because they simply implement the
command of Allah in the above verse: They are
grateful everyday for each other, so
Allah increases the happiness they find in each
other, just like He promised.
The verse doesn’t end there though. The last half
of the verse should send a chill down every
married person’s spine: “…if you deny, indeed, My
punishment is severe. ”
How many times have our egos stopped us from
acknowledging and appreciating our spouses?
How many times have we denied all the good
they’ve done for us through a single word or
sentence in the middle of a senseless argument?
Every conflict left unresolved, every hurtful word
exchanged and every baseless complaint is a
refusal to value one of Allah’s best gifts to us: a
spouse. It is a denial of a favor Allah has blessed
us with that many are longing for. And you don’t
have to wait for the Hereafter to bear the
consequences of such denial. Days of depression,
frustration, anger, spite, lack of barakah
(blessing), and even illness and hardships make
life living hell for those who refuse to be grateful
in their marriages.
Allah also says in the Qur’an:
“And as for your Lord’s favor, then discourse
about it! (i.e., proclaim it).” [ Qur’an: Chapter 93,
Verse 11]
So if you aren’t doing so already, stop holding
back and proclaim to your spouse how grateful
you are for them!
You and your spouse can start becoming grateful for
each other right now by:
thanking each other for at least one thing
everyday: you could do this through a text
message, a note in a lunchbox or on the fridge, or
just before you go to sleep at night (brothers, I
promise you will not decrease in height if you do
this )
exchanging a smile that says “thank you, you
mean the world to me”
saying “thank you/jazak Allah khayr” every time
your spouse does something for you
getting/doing small things for your spouse that
you know they will absolutely love
writing down things about each other you’re
grateful for in a journal and exchanging your
journals regularly: journaling makes you reflect,
realize and truly internalize what you’re thinking
about. There’s nothing better than internalizing
the gratitude you feel towards your spouse; and
there’s nothing more heart-warming for them to
read than what you’ve written from the depths of
your heart!